A Stare, but not a Star

Foreigners in greater China all know the stare, and, personally, I'll never get used to it. I cannot leave my apartment without passerbys pointing, staring, and even shouting the Chinese word "foreigner." In Germany, I fought my anonymity being no different from any man on the street (except a little shorter than average).

Ironically, here in Zhengzhou I simply want to be a 老百姓, a commoner. There are times being a foreigner has benefits; one may get preferential treatment, one can usually get out of any situation with a "ting bu dong" (I don't understand), and one is easily noticed so is actually safer in public/on roads. Yet, it all serves to a general feeling of discomfort. The paradox that I'm treated like a celebrity, yet truly a commoner. I live here, speak the language, and follow the culture, but every time I hear "Laowai" (old outsider) it emphasizes a feeling of isolation or distance.

I know someday when I'm deep into marriage, have wanna-be independent teenage children, and I'm sitting in an insurance office just waiting for some trivial service I'll look back and revere this time when always treated special. For now I'll continue to bear the stare.

Later days,
Rick